Monday, October 8, 2007

Yared breaks the unwritten law

regarding Piper maintaining the highest target on AAPL.

Judy and Viv flew into my office with Georges Yared's Hail Mary half-attempt to pass us up this morning:

"The stock has been acting superbly these past two months and after the earnings conference call look for many analysts to move their price targets to $200 and higher. My price target is $200 and I am prepared to move it to $225."

My target is $211; Yared's dancing on very thin ice here. Plus his research basically sucks. But anyway...

So Judy says "heck, $225 ain't dramastically higher than our target" ( upon hearing 'ain't dramastically' Viv winces in pain).

"It's just nutsy cuckoo to flip out over this third rate guy," she adds (at this Viv groans and mutters something about 'nutsy' and adjective formation rules).

"I'm already over it," I say.

But the women, for some reason, aren't.

So Viv adds that we need to cut the guy some slack. "After all," she tosses out, "he has to overcome that unfortunate name . . . how many struggle with the 'initial Y' handicap in America?"

Judy rolls her eyes at that, but folks, it's true. Rumor has it Yared almost got tagged as special ed back in grade school. They hadn't met their quota and panicked when they got down to the Y's. He had to recite the Gettysburg address five times to dodge that fate. It left a mark on the guy.

Viv continues. "Golly, and anyway, who has a plural first name? He's not putting anything past anyone. One analyst, one brain. That's how it works Mr. George with an "s"!

By this time Judy has broken two pencils in her bare hands. "That's nutsy cuckoo Viv," she says, "I think he's Greek."

Viv glares back at her.

"It's ok," I say. "Really. Yared has broken free. I can't call these chumps "n00bs" and then not give them props when they step up to the plate and offer a real target like we do. And you know, they name children just like that up in Anoka."

Viv and Judy immediately snap to attention. "Yah?" queries Viv.

"It's a scary place . . . you know, the Halloween Capitol of the World and all that."

They laugh and head for the door.

Keeping the peace on Team Munster is all part of a day's work. It takes wit and humor and courage. And it helps to be a graduate of the Piper Samarai Team Building program.

Note to George with an 's' Yared: That tie passes "Munster muster" but here's a free tip: You can use Photoshop to eliminate the unsightly piece growing out below your wrist (cross platform but of course I recommend OS X). Viv blushed profusely and mentioned how it draws the eyes downward . . . and I didn't want to ask her anything more about THAT.


Stan Scott said...

One thing Yared said confused me a bit -- the part about he's "prepared" to go to $225.

Well, did he, or didn't he? Usually, when someone is "prepared" to do something, they haven't ACTUALLY done it.

In my book, you're still at the top, Gene. Plus, you were there FIRST, which should mean something.

Anonymous said...

I agree with the previous poster. Gene is being too nice. Yared is a wimp.