Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Viv's gPhone Prediction

Viv was already in my office this morning, bursting at the seams.

"Gene, Gene, did I tell you I'm working a two-book contract?"

"No kidding! That's great Viv."

"Indeed," she nods, "cross genre is all the rage. B&N will be installing a new Business-Horror section just for Zuned: Another Scary Microsoft Hardware Blunder."

"Cross genre?"

"It's when you combine two types of books that don't normally fit together, like a mystery-slash-cookbook. Or science fiction time travel and romance, you know, like that Lake House movie, where Sandra Bullock and Keanu Reeves are stuck in a time warp but they fall in love and have to get together, and of course if features the requisite two obstacles to consummate the relationship. It's great stuff Gene."

"I can't say as I've seen it Viv."

She pushes her glasses up her nose. "No matter. There's a big market for cross genre books. Don't you want to hear about my second book?" Viv blushes.

"Oh yeah, sure. What is it?"

"Googled: How they missed the G-spot. I'm pioneering B&N's exclusive new Business-Erotica genre. Of course it's mostly about the gPhone, but, you know, spiced up."

"Viv I don't think they've released a phone yet. And we cover Google, so your book presents an ethical problem. How does it look if a crack Piper analyst, part of Team Munster no less, is publishing a title on Google for the Business slash, uh, Etcetera shelf?"

"Gene I can handle it. Besides everyone knows the gPhone is gonna be a dog. FSJ says they'll just throw their maps software onto a second-rate, third party-designed piece of hardware."

"True enough, plus a ton of ads. Who's FSJ anyways?"

"He's like you. He blogs in the Business/Angst category. But you've got more dark humor, you know, you're the innocent Hitchcockian guy making his way amidst the Wall Street opium dens."


Viv picks a piece of lint off her sweater. "It's very subtle. Think Cary Grant in North by Northwest."

"Right Viv."

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