So, the Double-Slot Toaster Calls Me

"Geno! It's me, Jimmy C from Mad Money! Am I on your Jesus phone?"

"Nah. *cough* What an honor."

"Booyah! No, Geno, the honor is mine!"

"That's what I meant"

"You feeling OK Geno? You sound like you're stuck in a tar pit."

"I'm in Minnesota." (and please don't visit)

"Doesn't that share a border with Cramerica?"

"It must be true if you say so James."

"Some of my best fans call from Minnesota."

"I believe it."

"Geno, I called you the greatest Apple analyst for a very good reason."

(No kidding, n00b) "Yah?"

"On Monday I'll be putting one worm on the Apple during the lightning round . . . and I'm scouting for a good line. Something fresh to awe the lemmings. So whatcha got for Jimbo?"

"One worm? Heck I can send you fifty worms. I've got a can of 'em in my Lund."

"I don't use real worms -- it's a "sell half" signal. Well, actually it's half-of-a-half-of-the-half-from-the-last-sell, but don't worry. This line's SEC-free."

"Uh, right."

"Gene, pal, a good word from me will get you on Power Lunch. That show's hotter than my sound board! And how 'bout a free subscription to my Action Alerts PLUS? You have ANY idea what THAT'S worth?"

"Well no. (but that and 50 cents will barely get you a ringtone) Look, my research and targets are all out there in press releases. I gotta go. Tonight is bowling league with the Piper guys, and I need to swing by the house to pick up my shirt and G-Ball ---"

Damn you Munster! You're tighter than a --"

Two-Slots, I've gotta run. Later."