Oopsie Daisy

My cousin Violet is a sucker for deceptive TV ads.

By age three (1988) we had the diagnosis. It was the year of the "Oopsie Daisy" fad, a "smart" doll that crawled, fell down, cried "Mama", then righted herself and continued crawling.

Saturday morning TV Oopsie ads were Violet's gateway drug. Cue the music to "Pop goes the Weasel". "Oopsie daisy's learning to crawl, she's such a pretty baby...oop! oopsie daisy!"

To sane adults -- which her parents were at the time -- it was nauseating. But little Violet HAD to have that doll, a fact she reminded her parents about until it drove them to distraction.

So on Christmas morning, 1988, her father took it from the box and quickly installed two C batteries (while Violet was jumping up and down and holding her crotch). Dad turned on the doll and set her into crawl position.

Violet started screaming. The relatives were baffled, and had trouble yelling over the gear grinding noise coming from the toy. The same noise that was scaring the bejeezus out of Violet. She began to cry. "That wasn't on the TV commercial", she wailed.

The Oopsie Daisy Christmas was just the beginning. No matter how hard we work as a family to help her overcome this addiction she periodically falls into the trap.

So Violet saw the latest Sprint Blackberry Pearl "smart" phone ad, the one that features a guy on a moving sidewalk in an airport. He's using a combination finger/laser pointer to write words in the air, which are magically transmitted as text messages or email or something.

Violet bit for it. You bet, I got the call this time. Her parents couldn't be bothered; they were busy logging on to hypnosisdownloadsfortraumatizedparents.com.

Anyway she said it's all Apple's fault. After all, they show how the iPhone works on their TV ads, with the touches and all. The Blackberry ad didn't have tiny print disclaimer on the screen, you know, "Dramatization -- don't try this at home" or whatever. Violet assumed Blackberry had honestly invented air writing to beat iPhone. It looked so cool, she said.

Ugh. I'm going over with oolong magnolia tea to help Violet through this latest "oopsie" episode.