Monday, February 4, 2008

Recently Rumored Apple Buyouts

Takeover TargetLess Obvious Reasons to Buy
(Compliments of Team Munster Research)
Yahoo!Just to piss off Microsoft
Palm1. Newton Nostagia Move
2. Ensure the historical preservation of gray-on-green screens
Disney1. Burning desire to build "his and her" Minnie and Mickey Macs
2. To piss off Time Warner/AOL
Nintendo1. Convert old joystick technology to multi-touch
2. To piss off Microsoft
TiVO1. Rhymes with early prototype codename for Apple TV, which was "STEVO"
2.To piss off Comcast
Napster1. To hold customers hostage for monthly rental payments
2. After all, loan sharking is illegal
Motorola cell phone biz1. College marketing interns wanted to work on selling ROKR
("we can sell it, we know we can!")
Universal Music1. iTunes has already captured all earthbound music
2. To piss off RIAA
Sun1. Revenge against IBM for the G4 processor
2. To put it out of its misery.
Adobe1. To kill Flash
2.To piss off Microsoft
Sprint/Nextel1. Idea from the young engineers at Apple -- they missed Walkie Talkies the first time around
Google1.Why buy Yahoo when you can get the Alpha dog?
2.To piss off Microsoft


Anonymous said...

Er, isn't Apple holding AT&T hostage to monthly payments?

Anonymous said...

Very clever and original way of showing Apple's dominance in so many areas!