Enderle tries to get us to change our mind

Enderle has made a last minute attempt to get our n00b deluxe award. Sorry Rob, it was a good try but we're sticking with your mentor Dvorak. But I'll have at look at your article just for grins.

I'm having my doubts about Apple though, as it would seem success is going to their head as they put Think Secret out of business, and I and a lot of others were tricked into believing they personally threaten the guy who writes the Fake Steve Jobs parody

No Rob, you "and a lot of others" were not tricked. You're just stupid.

To make a point, Dan Lyons joked about how Apple's power might be going too far (and yes I fell for the joke).

Yes, you keep mentioning, so I will as well. You're a dunce.

If you search "Lyons and Apple" in Google news, you'll see he got a lot of us thinking about this subject, and perhaps we should.

Someone tell Enderle that "and" is ignored in a Google search. Oh well, I'll follow his lead. A search of "Enderle and stupid" gives over 31,000 results. Here Rob, this is for you:

The "AND" operator is unnecessary -- we include all search terms by default

In addition, as Apple goes into the battle with CES, arguably one of its biggest, it still has to put to bed the Options problem that implicates Steve Jobs himself in an alleged crime. This would seem very ill-advised. In any case, this isn't a good start for it in 2008, but recall 2007 looked like it would be difficult for Apple as well, and it powered through that.

Did he really just do that? Wolverton would be so proud!

I'll be at the show and participating in the 11th annual Build Your Own PC race, and I was practicing last week with my new AMD Spider system. Who knows, I may get lucky.

Dear God. This explains a lot. I'm not kidding about this one.

HTC created the fastest and most credible competitor to the iPhone last year, but it was rushed and I'd expect a much better offering for the second generation.

Enderle loves to play the "second generation" card to show authority. He called for the second generation iPhone to show up in October of 2007. Dolt.

By the end of 2008 I'll bet these folks will have moved one way or the other.

Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant.

and possibly a full refresh of the iMac (long overdue).

Yeah. That aluminum and glass deal from August was nothing.

I think the product of the year should set a good example both inside and outside a firm. Sync does so, and it is my product of the year.

There it is folks, Enderle's pick for product of the year. Well Rob, you probably won't have a lot of competition for that pick. It's all yours pal.

n00b deluxe for 2007

As we close each year, Team Munster likes to review its research and choose one person to be n00b deluxe for the year. A n00b above all other n00bs. There were plenty to choose from in 2007, as you know if you hold aapl.

Now, it might just be because I'm the boss, but the team agreed with me that Johnny Dvorak should win for writing Apple should pull the plug on the iPhone: Company risks its reputation in competitive business.


Here's a quote:

What Apple risks here is its reputation as a hot company that can do no wrong. If it's smart it will call the iPhone a "reference design" and pass it to some suckers to build with someone else's marketing budget. Then it can wash its hands of any marketplace failures.

It should do that immediately before it's too late. Samsung Electronics Ltd. might be a candidate. Otherwise I'd advise you to cover your eyes. You're not going to like what you'll see.

So congratulations John, you are Team Munster's n00b deluxe for 2007. Your advice is right up there with Michael Dell's, and for that we salute you.

Letterman writes his own solution

and takes the initiative in modeling the new paradigm for his industry.

Of course I've been mentioning it lately, as Munster Nation is well aware.

Blockbuster Busted

Of course I've been mentioning it plenty. See the latest reason here.

Walmart just caved. Netflix is next.

The winner already has the hardware in consumer's hands.

Stay iTuned.

OxyMoron

Viv came bounding into the office.

"Gene, got a sec?"

"Sure Viv, what's up?"

"You see Enderle's blogging yesterday?"

"Enderle's got a blog?"

"Yeah Gene. Apparently Apple is rotting from the inside out. Says people want Steve out. It confirms our retail check at the Apple store!" Viv grins like the Cheshire cat.

"That's nuts. Enderle's pretty thick, but. . . . hey, maybe it's a fake blog."

"Fake? You mean like Fake Steve? Like he's doing a genre crossover?"

"Yeah, like that."

"Hmm. Gene, why would he jump from creative nonfiction to fake blogging? It's too close, like just half a step. No, Gene, I think it's him. I mean the title of the blog is real official and everything. "

"What's it called?"

"Rob Enderle: The Real Truth About Technology and IT"

"Oh my God. Yeah, that's him alright. Never thought you could squeeze an oxymoron into a blog title."

Apple goes after Coach

So when Coach sat down last year to map our their 2007 holiday strategy, do you think they saw Apple as a competitor? Probably not. But such is the power of the iPod.

"Spending on luxury items is up 10.8 percent, “which isn’t bad at all,” Mr. McNamara said. Purchases of electronics rose a healthy 5.8 percent."

So now even the fashion industry has to figure out how to compete with Apple. And I gotta admit, I have no idea how they can do it. Who's next, the oil companies? I don't think anyone is beyond Apple's reach at this point.

Oz Symbolism for the New Gilded Age

Dorothy -- Middle class
Wicked Witch of the East -- Eastern Bankers and Wall Street
House that falls on Wicked Witch of East after the tornado (which represents the homeowners revolt) -- Subprime mortgages, CDOs, SIVs
Munchkins -- the underclass and child labor (the Lollipop Guild)
Wicked Witch of the West and her flying monkeys -- Corruption in the lending industry
Tin Man -- Manufacturing economy
Scarecrow -- Agricultural economy
Cowardly lion -- Ben Bernanke, who eventually finds courage to act
Emerald City -- Washington DC
The Wizard -- Name your favorite politician
Silver Slippers (in the book they weren't ruby) -- Monetary policy
Toto -- Apple's new ultralight laptop (digital communication), a small bundle that's able to save the day

In the end the wizard can't help Dorothy. Civilization is saved by the magic of the silver slippers, and the help of her friends -- the tin man, scarecrow, lion, and Toto.

Subprime hasn't Eighty-Sixed Wall Street Bonuses

Goldman manages to eke out a $68 million bonus for the CEO. Others are mixed, but are averaging a 14% increase over last year.

Happy holidays.

Piper Jaffray is Serious About Global Warming

You all think I'm just kidding around about this stuff, but seriously, we have an environmental investments section. See Lois Quam, Piper Jaffray Director (that's her in the photo talking to Will Steger about glacial retreat in Norway).

The Strong Get Stronger

Erin called me this morning, wanted me to make an appearance. No problem, I'm always ready to go (note the rockin' tie, btw).

Apple, Google... the strong get stronger.

2008 is the year of the digital consumer.... and that means Apple.

Man, I'm getting good at this stuff.

Back to work.

Big Surprise (NOT): Frustrated Android Developers

As I predicted over a month ago, Android is being developed using Panic Mode Development Methodology (PMDM), AKA a "contest". Oh, and I also mentioned (and Jobs told Schmidt), that the Seattle software development boys and girls, hoping to find respite from Vista troubleshooting, would jump on the Android wagon. Yep. See a Macbeth tragedy here.

Combo Ultra Light/Wood Chipper Coming From Apple

I didn't mention it in my press release today, but yeah, it's gonna turn Kindle into Kindling.

How do I know this? Here at Piper we put our hands on many new consumer electronic products.

So Vivian ran back from receiving today with the Amazon Kindle. She was panting, and so excited her hands were shaking, but she managed to rip off the packaging.

Soon as she had a book loaded, she flicked her finger down the screen to page down. She tried the pinch maneuver to make the font size bigger. "It doesn't work!" she cried as she passed the machine to Andrew.

And wouldn't you know, Andrew tried the same procedure to move to the next page -- touching the screen, he dragged his finger downward. "She's right, this thing is defective," he lamented.

Yes Munster Nation, multitouch is ubiquitous and intuitive, as a great user interface should be. And it's has been marketed so well it has become the defacto standard!

At MacWorld we'll see the real goods.

Z(ucker) is zuckered again: Dave Letterman takes a page from the Jobs playbook and negotiates independently with WGA

The Writer's Guild is learning how to cut out the network power brokers.

Letterman can end run the networks because he owns his show. "The CBS host is in a better position to make an individual deal with the WGA than late-night hosts Jay Leno, Conan O'Brien and Jimmy Kimmel, whose programs are owned by their networks."

Anyway, ya' think there's anyone else the WGA could iNegotiate with, like somebody with lots of experience in the entertainment biz -- from places like iPixar and iDisney and the largest online music and movie distribution outlet perhaps?

The iParadigm shifts. Stay iTuned.

Team Munster Retail Checks

Last night Viv and I worked the action up at the Rosedale Apple store. Viv remembered her clicker but I forgot mine, so I used my finger counting (thanks to Sister Edna I have that valuable skill) as shoppers meandered through the 25 foot zone surrounding the store entrance.

Rosedale is a small store, about 2,000 square feet. People were entering the store at the rate of 260 per hour, consistent with our previous checks. Nearly 25 percent of mall goers who entered the "zone" were sucked into the store. Many were women, but there was still the occasional male veering toward the entrance only to be pulled away by the woman at his side. Viv calls those "mixed marriages". There were 50-60 shoppers inside the store at all times throughout our check period.

Viv went in to purchase an iPod. She saw a Macbook Pro, 3 iPods, and assorted software and accessories sold during the five minutes she stood in the checkout line.
But Apple needs to do something about the stroller problem -- not enough room to push a stroller into that store. Several times a baby pusher would stop outside the entrance and look wistfully into the store. At times these "stroller handicapped" shoppers blocked the entrance (tandem strollers were the worst -- when did they start making them to compete with Hummers on size?), making it difficult for other shoppers to enter or exit.

But overall, it's looking great for earnings.

London-by-the-Sea the result of ice melt

Attention London Financial Centre:

Previously you had until 2099 to move your assets to Minneapolis.

Now it appears you have until 2012: "This week, after reviewing his own new data, NASA climate scientist Jay Zwally said: 'At this rate, the Arctic Ocean could be nearly ice-free at the end of summer by 2012, much faster than previous predictions.'"

And check out this recent report.

Ring me mates. I'm here to assist.

Team Munster. Easing you onto higher ground.

Resistance is futile: Cayman Islands will be destroyed by Artic ice melt

Attention Offshore Hedge Fund Management and their Wealthy Clients:

Previously you had until 2099 to move your assets to Minneapolis.

Now it appears you have until 2012: "This week, after reviewing his own new data, NASA climate scientist Jay Zwally said: 'At this rate, the Arctic Ocean could be nearly ice-free at the end of summer by 2012, much faster than previous predictions.'"

And our channel checks indicate that the next ice report will go further over the top, so to speak.

Trust me, this will be worse than the hurricane risks.

Remember, you have three short years before catastrophe, so give me a call and we'll get the ball rolling.

Team Munster. We can ease your move to higher ground.

Blockbuster, what was that?

I think it was the sound of MovieBeam crashing and burning. Hey but don't worry, I'm sure it will be different for you guys.

So good luck with that Movielink albatross. Hey Keyes, what movie was it that you showed that AP reporter on your phone when you were bragging on Movielink? Oh that's right.... Crash!

More Z curse stuff

Remember this?

"We know that Apple has destroyed the music business - in terms of pricing -- and if we don't take control, they'll do the same thing on the video side," Zucker maintained.

Hey Jeff, how's that "take control" thing working for ya?

NBC refunds advertisers as ratings plunge